nothing for granted

So of all the places to have an enlightening experience, I would have never thought it would be at Walmart.  I don't usually write a lot of posts like this, but this experience had a profound impact on me and I just had to share.
I was walking through the store pushing the cart with Easton in it and Graysen was tagging along, well more like jumping on and off the cart and running around the stands of clothes, but who is keeping track right.  We had just finished coming out of the baby section and headed to the checkout when I heard a woman's voice ask me "what is his name?"  I asked which one she meant, the baby or the toddler, and she said the toddler.  I told her it was Graysen and then she came over and got teary eyed and said "Graysen, you know what? I have been watching you throughout the store and you have been such a good boy and listened to your mommy.  Make sure you always listen to her and treat her good." At this point tears were streaming down her face and I could feel that she had experienced some type of loss.  She told me her son was the same age as Graysen with blonde hair and blue eyes too.  I thought that she was going to tell me she lost her son, but then she said she was sorry that she just lost her daughter.
When someone says that to you there are no words that come to mind to express your deep sorrow for that loss or to even comprehend what they might be going through.  I expressed my deepest condolences and asked her how old she was.  She told me she was only 5 weeks, and my heart crushed a little more because that hit really close to home for me since Easton is only a couple months older than that.
I really felt like an idiot after she walked away because I felt like all I was doing was blubbering out things for the sake of trying to find the right words to say but I think I failed in that department.
I felt so sad as I walked to the checkout stand as I could see them in front of us buying their things.  When we had finished checking out she came over to me again and asked if she could see Easton (he had his car seat cover on so she couldn't see him).  I flipped back the cover and looked at her as she longing gazed upon his face remembering what her own daughter looked like.  She told me he had the same angel kisses on his eyes that her daughter did and she was choking back her tears as was I.  I felt like I should give her a hug so I did.  She said she was so sorry to do this to me and I answered right back that it was no problem, and that I couldn't even imagine what she must be going through.  I told her that I am sure her daughter was an angel now watching over her as she left and I rambled some other nervous words that trailed off as soon as they left my mouth.
I got out to my car and I just cried because I felt so bad for this lady and I could feel her sorrow and pain at loosing her child and then I started to think what if that had been me, what I would even be like.
It really got me to open my eyes and not take what I have for granted.  The new born stage is hard and there are times I find myself wishing Easton was older, but now all I want him to do is stay little like this forever and enjoy every moment I get to spend with him and my other kids.
Life is so fleeting and you never know what is going to happen.  I had been telling myself since Easton was born that it will be only a short time and that I need to enjoy him being so little while I can because he will be grown before I know it, but it didn't really resonate with me until today.
Instead of wishing he would sleep more than an hour at a time during the day, I am going to pick him up from his nap and enjoy the sweet smiles he gives me and snuggle him even if I have things to get done.  Instead of wishing he would sleep through the night, I am going to hold him tight when he wakes up to eat and drink in his sweet face and take it all in.  I am going to kiss my kids every chance I get and let them know how much I love them.
It is one thing to tell yourself to enjoy the moment, but it is another thing entirely to actually live in the moment and I feel like I finally know what that truly means.

"Hernie"

At Thanksgiving we found out that Graysen had a hernia, or as he calls it his "hernie." After a couple trips to the ER because of intense pain from it they decided that Surgery would be the best option so it wouldn't cause any major complications.

Basically, when boys are young they have two openings in the stomach area where the testis drop down through when they get older.  The openings usually close by themselves, but in some cases, like Graysen, the hole doesn't close on it's own.  Because of this, the intestines drop through the hole sometimes causing a big bulge.  Graysen's was the size of a golf ball, so it was pretty big and noticeable.   The reason it was such a problem is because his testis would come up sometimes and the intestines would go down and they kind of got pinched together causing him a lot of pain, and it is very dangerous.

We were so glad that it was an easy fix and that it wouldn't be a complicated or long surgery/recovery time.  We met with a Dr. up at Dornbecher's Children's hospital and confirmed the course of surgery and scheduled it for January 30th. Fortunately we made it to the surgery date without any more incidences of it hurting him again and having to go to the ER.
Travis and I took him up to the hospital in the morning, and grandma Allen stayed with McKenna.  McKenna was worried about Graysen, but we assured her it would be fine and he would be ok.  It was really sweet how much she cared and loves her brother.
Graysen was such a big boy and was so good and brave during the whole process.  He normally is really freaked out when we go to the Dr or anything, so it was so nice that he was pretty calm through it all.  We had to wipe him down with cleansing wipes and put the lovely hospital gown on him, and then he was given some medicine to take the edge off, which made him super relaxed and calm.  He laid and watched cartoons for a little bit before they took him back.

It was really nice because they didn't have to do the iv until he was under which I was so thankful for, he wouldn't have done so well with it otherwise.  The dr told him when he woke up that he could have a Popsicle, so he was so stoked about that.  In fact, that was the only thing he cared about because when we had to stop and say goodbye to him while he went back, he didn't even care about us, he just turned to the dr. and asked "what kinds do you have, do you have orange?" He cracks me up, and at least I know he wasn't scared so that was a big comfort.

Easton Marshall Harris

After two weeks of soaking in my little newborn, I figured it was time to write about him and his entrance into this world and into our family.
Being pregnant for nine months is bad enough, but once you get into that last month everything just seems to take longer and you feel more uncomfortable than you ever have been before, at least for me anyway. The month just seems to drag on, but when you go over 40 weeks and your little one still hasn't come, it is just pure torture.
I had been feeling pretty strong contractions for 2 weeks and so I kept thinking he will come early, it is only a matter of time.  I went in the week before he was due and I was dilated to a 4 and 80% effaced, and so I thought surely he would come that week.  Well the week came and went as did my due date.  I was so done being pregnant and just wanted to hold my little boy in my arms.  I went to the gym several times a week and walked on the treadmill hoping it would spur on the contractions which it did, but they never stayed.
I thought about doing caster oil and all those other wives tales, but decided that I would just wait and see if he came on his own.
I got to march 10, two days after my due date and decided I had enough.  I had a doctors appointment the next day, but I thought what the heck, why not see if I can just schedule an induction so that if he didn't come I would at least have a date set to go in.  I called the doctors office and was expecting to be scheduled at 41 weeks, but to my surprise they asked if I wanted to come in tomorrow.  I jumped at the chance and was so excited that I was going to be done being pregnant.

Don't get me wrong, my pregnancy went well and I was healthy and able to work out still so I don't have a lot to complain about, but I just hate waiting and I wanted to get my little guy here.  Plus I like to have a plan so I can have things figured out and taken care of before hand.
On Tuesday around noon we went in to have the baby.  After being checked in and everything they checked me and after a week sitting at a 4 and 80% effaced, guess what, I only dilated to a 4.5 and still was 80% effaced...this little guy wanted to take his sweet time.
They started me on Petocin around 3 or so and then it just became a waiting game. I started to have strong contractions close together and so I asked for my lovely epidural and was happy I didn't have to wait long for it.  The only bad thing about it was he did it really strong and I couldn't move my legs or really feel anything down there except a slight bit of pressure.  I am happy though to not have been in pain.  The worst part for me, even worse than the stinging of the needle in my back from the epidural was actually the IV in my hand....I know, go figure.  I got really nauseated and my blood pressure dropped really low, but thankfully it passed after a little while.  I really hate having my blood drawn and any sort of needles put into my arms or hands.
After waiting, around 7:45pm or so the dr. came in and broke my water and about 20 minutes later came back to deliver the baby.  I pushed one time, granted it was a long push, but out he came to join the world.  He was the cutest baby, and actually looked just like Travis.  That is the first thing I said when he was placed on me and I saw his beautiful face.  He had so much hair and it was so blonde.  I have actually never had them place the baby on me right after they are born, and that was a neat experience to have me be the first person he hears and smells and had skin to skin contact with.  With the other two they just take them and bathe them first and then hand them back to you after they have checked them out.  I loved this way because I could bond with him and Travis before they did all that stuff.

We decided on the name Easton, which the kids were wanting really bad, and we went with Marshall for the middle name after my maiden name.  Easton was born on March 11, 2014 in the Salem hospital.  He weighed 8lbs 2oz, and was 20.5 inches long.  He was my biggest baby so far and I am so grateful to have him here with us.  He is such a sweet baby, and just so handsome I can't get over it.
We had to wait in the room for a long time because my epidural just wouldn't wear off and I couldn't get up to walk by myself.  Finally though after like 4 hours I was able to be moved to a different room where I would stay the remainder of the time.

It was nice in some ways that they had him stay with me the whole time and didn't take him to the nursery, but I do kind of wish I had the option for a little bit so I could have gotten some sleep, but it was so nice to have all that time to bond with him and have that time with just Travis and I and the baby.  Travis was so happy to have another son as well and I love the way he looks at him and holds him, it just melts my heart.

My mom came to see him at the hospital and so did McKenna. Graysen was sick so he couldn't come see him but McKenna loved him and was so happy to have her little brother here and my mom of course just loved him to pieces.

So that is how baby Easton joined our family and we are so glad to have him with us.  It is such a miracle to have a baby and each time I look into his sweet little face I feel overwhelmed with gratitude and love, and I feel so peaceful and wonderful knowing he just came straight from heaven and that I have been entrusted one of God's precious children to raise and love and care for.  There is no greater thing to me than being a mother and I am so blessed to have three wonderful healthy amazing children and a wonderful husband to share and revel in it all with.

Do you want to build a snowman?

It was so nice to finally have a snow day so we could get out and play, in fact there were like 3 in a row, we kind of had a snowpocalypse.    The kids had so much fun being out in the snow though and of course McKenna loved the fact that she didn't have to go to school.  It was kind of hard to go anywhere though since it was so icy and hard to drive in.
The first two days the kids just played out in the backyard and built a little snow man and used shovels and made snow angels and ate snow.  They had a blast.

On the last day, we tried to build a snowman, but the snow was really powdery and wouldn't pack that great so I gave up trying to build a big snowman and we just played and built a snow tower instead.  I haven't played out in the snow like that for a long time, and it was really fun.

The kids would've stayed out there forever, but they got cold and wet and so we went inside to have hot chocolate and get warm.

All in all we had lots of fun in the snow.  Next year we will have to invest in some sleds and go find a hill to go down since I don't think the kids have ever been sledding before.
It was really nice and peaceful to sit on the couch and just stare out the window watching the snow fall and blanket the ground with beautiful white snowflakes.  There is something so calming and serene about doing that and not to mention beautiful!

Once the snow was gone I will have to admit I was glad.  We played in it and it was fun, but I was happy to see it go.  I don't like snow for extended periods of time. A couple days is good enough for me.

Easton's blessing

We blessed Easton in April and it was such a neat experience.  Travis always gives the most wonderful baby blessings and I felt so privileged to hear him speak such wonderful words about our son and his future. He truly prepares and petitions our father in Heaven to know what is in store for our children and who they will become.

Easton is such a sweet boy and I am so grateful he has joined our family.  I know he will be strong in the church and will be such a great example to all around him.  I am so grateful Heavenly Father has blessed me with another precious, sweet little boy.  I love Easton so much already and I can't wait to see his personality develop in the coming years.

It was nice to have our family and friends there to join in this special occasion with us.  Grandma and Grandpa Allen came down as well as Uncle Tyler.  It was so nice of them to come down.
Easton looked so handsome in his outfit that grandma Allen got him.  He looked just like a little angel.  He was so good through the blessing and didn't cry at all.  Travis doesn't get very emotional very often, but at all the kids baby blessings he gets all choked up and it is such a tender and precious moment.  He truly is a wonderful man and is so close to the spirit and loves our kids so much.
I loved just holding my sweet little boy in my arms afterwards and just looking at his precious peaceful face and feeling so grateful that I have been entrusted with yet another one of gods children.  He is such a blessing and I am overwhelmed with love for all my kids.

Turkey Day

We had a great Thanksgiving despite a few hiccups.  We went to Travis parent's house for Thanksgiving and went a couple days before to hang out and get things ready.  Of course the day we were supposed to leave McKenna came into my room early in the morning and told me her eye hurt.  I took her to the bathroom and it was really red and she said it was a little goopy so I thought great pink eye. I got her into the Dr. right away and we got medicine for it and put it in right away.  She was so good at not touching her eye with her hands though or on anything and if she did happen to touch it she washed her hands right away.  We still went up to Gram and Papa's house anyway so at least that didn't stop us from having fun.
Wednesday we spent a good part of the day cooking yummy food for thanksgiving.  After a long day of preparation and managing McKenna's eye, we got pizza and then just relaxed.  I was so tired though I could barely even function.  Travis was able to come that night too so it was good to have him with us.
Thursday morning Grandpa and Grandma made yummy cinnamon and pumpkin french toast.  It was delicious.  We got ready for the day and then kind of finished preparing last minute things and setting the table and all that jazz.  Gary and Suzanne had invited the missionaries over for Thanksgiving and Tyler and Melanie also came with the kids.  It was nice to have so many people there to celebrate with.
The food was soo good!  There was stuffing of course which was not your typical run of the mill stuffing.  It had cranberries and pine nuts int as well as celery onions and the bread part of it was perfect. We also had a really good goat cheese green bean casserole, rolls, mashed potatoes with Gravy, Apples and sweet potato dish, the best Turkey ever, and of course cranberry sauce and sparkling cider.  I love Thanksgiving food!
After dinner we talked and cleaned up a bit and then had pumpkin pie and some sort of cake that was pretty good.   We went around the table and said what we are thankful for, and not just the typical I am thankful for my family, but some deep thoughtful things.  The things I was most grateful for this year was making it through law school.  Travis is graduating and I am so thankful for all his hard work and dedication throughout this whole process and wanting to provide for our family and give us a good life by going to school to have a good profession.  I am also thankful for everyone who has helped us and supported us through it all.  I am especially thankful to my Heavenly Father because he knows each of us individually and what we are going through.  I could have gotten by without him these last four years.  We have never wanted for anything and have been blessed beyond what I ever thought was capable.  He has led us and been there for us this entire journey and I am so grateful for my Savior for sacrificing so much so that he could empathize with us in every situation we encounter.  He truly can understand and give the comfort that no one else can provide.  My kids too have been so understanding.  When daddy is home and needs to study, they know to leave him alone and are so good about it.  I love my family and my Savior so much.
We attempted to go see the movie "Frozen, but about 30 min into it Graysen said his stomach was hurting really bad and he wanted to go home.  He seemed like he was in a lot of pain.  We got tickets for the next day instead and headed back.
Graysen kept saying his tummy hurt above his groin and would cry out in pain.  I felt so bad and even when he tried to sleep he would wake up in pain and cry.  I decided to take him into the ER because I wasn't sure what was going on, it was so out of the norm.  Turns out it didn't end up being anything.  The Dr. said it was probably just constipation, but I don't buy it because he is so regular and hasn't ever had a problem with that.  I guess it is just something that I will have to keep an eye on.
Other than that we had a great day with family and I am so thankful for my many blessings.

Twas the night before Christmas

Twas the day before Christmas and all through the house, there was noise all around it was not quiet like a mouse.  The Christmas tree was decorated with presents galore, with excitement everywhere it was never a bore.

The house was filled with the smell of baked sweets, while the kids wrote some letters to leave Santa with a treat.  We decorated cookies and ate more than we should, the rest were for Santa to eat if he could.

The afternoon came round and it was time for more food, to BJ's we headed all in a festive mood.  We ate really good food and were in great company, then headed on home to get ready for more.
We watched a Christmas movie and played some games, and a special delivery from Santa came.  The kids were excited to open the box and it was open by them as quick as a fox.

 Inside were Jammies and a movie to see, they rushed up the stairs to change into them with glee.

After the movie we laid out the milk and the treats, then Gram told the story of Jesus' birth which was sweet.

The kids bid us goodnight as we went up the stairs, tonight they will sleep well without any cares.

I love making memories like these with my family, I love them so much, they are so dear to me.  Tomorrow will be full of more excitement and fun, I can't wait to see the look on their faces when they see presents by the ton.